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Ugly Video Game Cover #5: Maru’s Mission

I was checking out the latest updates in the 3DS e-Shop and this beauty was among the recently added Game Boy games. I mean really, who gets artwork for a video game that looks like this and says, “let’s run with it, it’s a hit!” I think this was one of those Nintendo Power contests they used to run where a fan could illustrate the artwork for an upcoming Game Boy game, in this case the winner was 7.

Since I have no idea what this game is about I have to consult Wikipedia and they say “Maru’s girlfriend Cori is kidnapped and hidden in a secret location. The player is Maru, and moves through six levels based on various folklore monsters.”

Ok cool, so Maru is battling bad guys while grooving to Milli Vanilli on his Walkman? No weapons? He’s tackling a giant dog lizard thing with his bare hands? It’s probably because Maru is the greatest fighter of all time, his fisticuff game is ferocious. That dog lizard thing has some creepy eyes, they remind me of glass eyes. Maybe he’s blind. Maybe this game has a heartwarming inspirational story about a blind dog lizard who learns to see with his heart and find true love without kidnapping it. Anyway, this cover is crap and I hope the artist was paid in gummi bears for the 12 minutes they spent getting this done. They had to hurry up before Darkwing Duck came on.

Check out the actual game below.