Ugly Video Game Cover #10: Forsaken

Ok, technically this isn’t an ugly video game cover since it doesn’t suck or anything, it’s just bizarre and sort of mind-bogglingly boggling.

It looks like a mid-90’s alt-rock album cover, in fact I think that’s the lead singer from Candlebox on the cover who is shedding a single tear over the demise of their faux-grunge-wave-riding-for-money-while-everyone-wanted-to-be-the-next-Nirvana career.

I feel like playing this game requires 2 controllers, Doc Martens, a flannel shirt and some morose individuals sitting in a basement with non-matching furniture while the smell of patchouli floats in the air and they lament the decline of talented musicians from the Seattle-area.

I’m 100% positive this game was published by Acclaim and Sub Pop Records and to celebrate the iconic partnership they had a few copies that were bundled with a 7″ Mudhoney single.

You know, I think this was the alternative cover to Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill album. I’m sure that was a decent album but no one could get past the aggressive Dave Coulier bashing. I mean really, that guy is an American comedy legend and his work on Full House is nothing short of legendary. I wonder what Uncle Joey is doing now? I wonder if he listened to Alanis and half-way through that song he went, “waaaaiiiittttt a minute. She needs to cut-it-out.” Then he took a puppet out and made his own song about her. It was later covered by Candlebox.

Statistics have shown that her entire fanbase was originally comprised of women who were just tragically dumped, then found a man, stopped buying Alanis and started listening to Candlebox.

I don’t know about anyone else but I feel it is my Gen X duty to find this on eBay and possibly control a character who stands outside of 7-11, drinking a Zima while my Civic hatchback warms up in the bitter Seattle cold with Candlebox blasting from the speakers. Wait, statistics show that people who listened to Candlebox back in the day actually drove Del Sol’s. I stand corrected.

Turns out the game is a Descent clone with no sign of Candlebox anywhere on the soundtrack. It’s a shame considering statistics have shown that a game with Candlebox on the soundtrack will sell 60% of the time, all of the time.